Conversations

I

“How come I always end up waiting for you? I’m the GIRL, you’re the GUY!”

“I’m sorry Aayushi, I’m stuck at a bad signal right now. Just go inside the hotel and sit. Don’t stand outside. Please.”

“Fuck with you!”

II

I have ordered a super expensive papad masala which does not own up to its price one bit and am mentally sulking over everything from the papad masala to those idiot lists on facebook which I don’t know why I am scrolling to my long irritating day at office to this guy who hasn’t still showed up.

And after what I perceive as ages, he shows up.

Gives me a clumsy hug and nestles in his spot.

Orders food in the next five minutes and steals my papad masala.

Akshay: “So what’s up? Why are you so sad?”

Me: “I’m not sad. I had a long irritating work day.”

Akshay: “Why this long irritating work day?”

Me: “You know how people create this virtual absolutely unnecessary pressure space so that they can dump their frustrations on others?”

Akshay: “I think I do, yeah. I’m kind of going through it now.”

Me: “When are you going back home?”

Akshay: “Tomorrow, if I finish with my work. What about you? What are you planning?”

Me: “I don’t know. Ever since I cleared exams, people have been asking me, what now? And I look at them and am like; this wasn’t part of the plan. I had to leave this, but I cleared this. And people have been suggesting me to give interviews and go for campus placements. I just, am not ready. I don’t want to do this. I just can’t bring myself to do it.”

Akshay: “Hmm, so are you going to Gurgaon?”

Me: “I don’t know. He tells me that if I don’t move to Gurgaon, he’ll go abroad for further studies. There’s no point for him to stay in Gurgaon if I’m not there.”

Akshay: “What if he never comes back?”

Me: “What if we end it?”

Akshay: “Is that even possible? After 5 years?”

Me: “Nobody knows what may or may not happen.”

Akshay: “You deserve to be with him, or at least in the same city as him. After 5 years, now is the time. You owe it to yourself. Just go to Gurgaon.”

Me: “I want to. But I’m just, too confused.”

Akshay: “About?”

Me: “About everything. I don’t know what I want to do in life. And I don’t want to stay in Bombay. And I don’t have money.”

Akshay: “You don’t want to stay in Bombay, so any which ways you’re changing cities. That means city isn’t an issue. You’re scared.”

Me: “Of?”

Akshay: “Of being too close to him.”

Me: “What if I fuck it?”

Akshay: “Well, you ARE fucking it by not going to Gurgaon.”

Me: “I don’t know Akshay, I have been so used to living this way, having my own space. I feel like I’ll lose it all. I’ll leave everything and move to Gurgaon and what if I fuck up?”

Akshay: “I think it is time you guys live in the same city. You are 22. You need to know you can do this.”

Me: “Yeah, I should know if I will be able to do this. But you know what, it’s twisted. It’s easy for him. He has a job. I don’t have a job. Worse, I don’t know what I want to do in life. It should be aligned with my stay in Gurgaon.”

Akshay: “I think you wanted to write.”

Me: “I wanted to write. I still want to write.”

Akshay: “I still remember Aayushi, two years ago, we were walking down that lane outside and you had told me that you want to live that life where you wake up in the morning and you have your coffee mug and you sit down to write.”

Me: “Did I?”

Akshay: “I remember it precisely. We had a full cake over dinner and we were walking down this very street outside.”

Me: “I just feel I’m a terrible writer. I mean, what’s the longest post on my blog?”

Akshay: “It doesn’t matter.”

Me: “It does! I can’t write beyond 400 words. If I have to write a novel, it has to be much more than that.”

Akshay: “Aayushi, the most celebrated author in India is Chetan Bhagat.”

Me: “Please.”

Akshay: “Exactly. I only follow two people whose writings I find interesting. And you are one of them. I know for a fact, and everybody knows that you’re good. Rest of the people, I lose interest eventually. With you, I don’t know what might happen.”

Me: “Thank you.”

Akshay: “You must write.”

Me: “What if I take up a job at some finance magazine where I get to write and I can also use my knowledge?”

Akshay: “I’m not quite sure about that.”

Me: “You know what, I’m so amazed about your ability to discuss me every time.”

Akshay (now a little taken aback): Well, we talk about me as well, at times.

Me: Tell me about her. How is she like?

Akshay (blushing): “She is good, studying, so a bit busy. I went to see her last week. And on the way back, she texted me how much she wanted to tell her family about me. And I can understand what it is like. When you’re happy, you want to share it to your close ones. That’s the reason I always tell my mom about everything. Not that I want to tell her everything, but just that I can’t keep anything from her. But she telling her family about me is scary. I’m pretty sure if she tells her family about us, we’ll have to end our relationship”

Me: “The girl’s family is always trouble.”

Akshay: “You know Aayushi, somebody asked me something once, and I’m going to ask it to you now.”

(I nod)

Akshay: “Are you 100% sure about him?”

Me: “Umm..99.9999%?”

Akshay (chuckles): “That’s exactly what I answered.”

Me: “How can anyone be? Our two hands are not similar! The almighty God wasn’t 100% sure! 100% sure is boring anyway!”

Akshay: “100% sure is called faking yourself.”

Me: “True that.”

Akshay: “Somehow I just feel like, she is the one.”

Me: “So when are you getting married?”

Akshay: “I’m sure about two things, A. I don’t want to get married until I’m settled in life. B. That’s not happening till I’m 26.”

Me: “How old are you again?”

Akshay: “I’m 22.”

Me: “No! You’re elder to me, I’m 22!”

Akshay: “I’m only six months elder to you.”

Me: “Ow, so for the next six months we’re the same age! But anyway, dude you have only 4 years left.”

Akshay: “I don’t know anything about that bit. I think she also knows that we may probably never happen. But you know what I really like about our relationship? It’s that I have always felt that a relationship needs two people who are brutally honest with each other, even if that means the other person feels bad about it. And that is what she is to me. And I am to her”

Me: “I think so, yeah. What is the point of being in a relationship if you can’t share things with your partner?”

Akshay: “Most people don’t.”

Me: “Most people are insecure. For me, I could never not tell him everything. It has been like that forever. I like it, I hate it, I tell him everything. And the best part is, he listens to it all. Every fucking stupid thing I blabber. I just love it!”

Akshay: “What about you? Isn’t your family the kind that starts popping the question of marriage soon?”

Me: “No, my family is chill, as of now. And for all that matters, I know I won’t get married until I can actually afford to do it on my own money. I’m not going to get married on my dad’s money.”

Akshay: “I think you’re getting me now. I would want to get married when I am financially stable and comfortable with my life.”

Me: “I just hate the idea of getting married just for the heck of getting married.”

Akshay: “You know, you’ve seen friends, right? There’s this episode where Chandler goes to the parlor with Rachel and they get a pedicure and manicure done. I told her once that I kind of liked it.”

Me: “Haha! And?”

Akshay: “She picked me from my home; she had got an appointment in the salon for both of us. She ACTUALLY MADE ME DO IT!”

Me: “Oh my God, Akshay! And did they paint your nails too?”

Akshay: “No I’m not telling that bit.”

Me: “Come on, they did!!!???”

Akshay: “She made them do it on the teeny one on my foot and then got it removed soon after,”

Me: “Hahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!”

Akshay: “Come on, it’s nice! Somebody is washing and cleaning your hands and nails!”

Me: “Akshay, I can’t stop laughing picturing you in my head with red nail paint on your teeny toe.”

Akshay: “Okay, stop it now!”

Me: “I kind of like that. It’s cute. It’s so cute, it’s gay!”

Akshay: “Okay enough!!!”

Me: “Do you want dessert?”

III

We finish our dessert and call for the cheque.

Akshay: “Whoa. We grew up.”

Me: “I didn’t grow up. You did. You old man.”

Akshay: “We just had a dinner table conversation about career and relationships and marriage.”

Me: “Fuck yeah!”

 

IV

He walks me to the station. I hug him a clumsy hug yet again and punch him in his pot belly.

“Straighten it.”, I say.

“Yeah, goodbye”

“Goodbye”


P.S. “A wise man once said the true history of the world is the history of great conversations in elegant rooms.”

“Who said this?”

“Me. Just now.”

 – Tyrion Lannister, Game of Thornes

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One thought on “Conversations

  1. Pingback: Forgotten Lanes (I) – Banjara

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